Sep 30, 2011

Give up

Today we went to his hospital from the evening. But he showed us smiles
and seemed very cheerful. Yet, didn't take shower and he said his head
skin was itchy.

Actually this afternoon, Hajime SMS to me.
"What time are you coming?" "Are you coming with Ryo"?
I am so happy to have SMS with Hajime. When his younger bro, Ryo would
come together, he was so happy and finished, though.

Finishing pickup of kids, now to the hospital!

The communication between Hajime and Ryo is so hartwarming. We really
feel good of it, and even feel so happy.

While they were in the hospital, they were playing games. Hajime longed
for Ryo coming, it seems his joy was increased more.

But after they have returned, Hajime appealed to me that his left
shoulder was painful. His joint seemed very troubled and cried with big
teardrops. He told me by the devices like this.

"I am really scared"
"I am already given up"

He says he is tired of sickness. "So I give up..." He told me many
times. I could only tell him "Let's hung in on there, Hajime, new meds
will be invented, and it will cure you. Till the day, let's fight
against it." "You are doing great, so just as you are is great" I told
him so.

Filled with tears in his eyes, Hajime said "Such a pain (even with
physically) and hard and tough... better to be dead."

How pity... he must be on the edge of his heart... I have to focus more
on his heart to watch him out.

He slept while stretching his body

It is too sad to behold the sadness and toughness of ALS... I feel so...

Translated by STK

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