Aug 21, 2011

Feeling Lonely and Helpless

Because we’re always moving this month, we can’t be with Hajime on the weekend, which is the primary reason.
---So we arrived to the hospital late because of the moving again.

When I’m packing/unpacking things, I find Hajime’s previous drawings and school work and every time I see it I tear up. This is how he used to write---And my hand stops.

We’re almost done moving. But there seems to be an endless amount of things that we have to move. I have to sort these things out and take it to donation.

I was a little late and was worried but Hajime was hanging in there. But it seems that he was feeling very lonely and helpless.
Last night, after we went home, I think he cried a lot out of loneliness because there were tear streaks on his cheeks.
I asked, “Did you cry?”
He answered, “Yes.”
He was very adamant Friday night, when he told us, “I want to be by myself” and sent us home.
But it is lonely to be alone, isn’t it?

We spent most of our weekend moving and I am really sorry for making Hajime feel this way.
This is our last week! We have to make sure we finish moving.

Hajime is in a very stable condition.
He still has a lot of saliva, but I think it’s a little better than before.

I am hoping that he will stay like this, healthy without any infections.

Translated by CS

No comments:

Post a Comment