Apr 12, 2011

But still I cry...

I asked Hajime about his current life.

The question I asked "what is the most fun for you?", he replied
"Spending time with family." Hajime said he felt relaxed when he was
with us, the family.

Instead, I asked the most painful thing. He answered "When I talk at
school or think about I cannot eat anymore."

He cannot communicate with friends and teachers at school when he
talks. This has been greatly serious for him, he said.

It seemed he was still hesitated using the speaking device at school.
"People may make fun of me..." he said. He is afraid of being made fun
of. I did not know what I could say to him about this.

I cannot stop crying while I listen to him like this. I really feel
that I am not a good mother... I want to hold him with soft and loving
words to comfort him, but my word does not come out.

To Hajime, facing and will face to painful and difficult thing all the
time, I cannot say anything precious. On contrary, my tears come out.

I am so sorry Hajime. Please forgive your mother...

(Translated by Satoko Okamoto)

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