Mar 11, 2013

Thinking about All Kinds of Things

Hajime still feels restless.

I have received many messages in response to my last entry.
There were various opinions, ranging from those of encouragement to those pointing out how my thinking was wrong.
I am grateful to all the people who have written so sincerely to me.
I can look at things from different angles.
It is a good opportunity for me to think about Hajime's situation.
To be honest, there are times, of course, that I get down.
But I think it is important for me to consider his feelings by putting myself in his shoes.

When we think about our son's death, we feel only dread.
I think this is something that only a parent who is caring for a seriously ill child can understand.
Hajime has told us that, no matter what happens, he wants us to put him on life-support.  We have the papers.  That is what he wants, so we continue to cheer him on.

Hajime's feelings are temporary...
This is what our trusted Mary told us.
Everyone will have these feelings at some time...Even people who aren't sick will sometimes have these feelings.  Mary said that is why we need to really listen to Hajime and understand his feelings.
She is absolutely right.

Hajime is still depressed.  But he doesn't tell us in words.  I think it's because he can't get in the mood to do so.  When he is ready to talk,  I will listen to him carefully.

(translated by MS)

1 comment:

  1. Hozue, here's another piece that I wish to offer to you today.


    Give me a quiet heart, God,
    so that I can hear your firm,
    but gentle voice teaching me the lessons
    you give so lovingly, so wisely.

    Lately, Father, it seems as though
    a frigid winter has blanketed my spirits.
    Gray days have covered me over with
    harsh and heavy burdens.

    Help me to remember
    that you promised Noah both
    winter and summer; seed time and harvest;
    day and night; cold and heat.

    Too often, Father, I remember
    to pray in distress and need,
    but forget to pray when I experience
    abundance, joy and thanksgiving.

    I cry out for your help and guidance
    with tearstained eyes, only
    to forget you when it is time
    to share my laughter.

    Help me to understand and remember that
    my barren and difficult times are not a curse,
    but part of a blessing and your wonderful,
    exchanging gift of LIFE.

    I ask you, Father, to teach me how to see
    not just my darkness,
    but also the joy that comes
    with every dawn.

    I ask these things in the name of Jesus,
    who exchanged his life for ours,
    and who gave hope to a world
    as discouraged and sad as I am today.


    Cappy Hall Rearick - january 2013