Muscles Are Rapidly Weakening

There was so much that happened today from morning again.

He showered.
He doesn’t like the way the nurse showers him and with his mouth he was complaining that it hurts,
but from the way I see it, perhaps because they are gradually getting used to Hajime’s body,
they’re being more thoughtful and I am starting to think that this showering might be really good.

Next it was the physical therapy, and just like yesterday he went outside on a wheelchair.
Today wasn’t as hot as yesterday and it was a very comfortable weather.
Hajime didn’t go around the hospital, instead he spent a few minutes on the patio around the entrance
and because he had saliva in his mouth, he went back in his room once to suction it out.
Afterwards, he went on the wheelchair again and went to different places in the hospital and returned back to his room.

After he returned to his room,
we were questioned by the case manager about the power of attorney that I had mentioned in my previous blog entry.
Hajime thought carefully, understood and responded.
He even answered clearly about after his death, something that he doesn’t want to think about.
Based upon these papers, somebody like a paralegal completed the official forms.
Whenever we’re with Hajime we have to carry the forms around with us.
But, I’m so glad it’s finally done.

Hajime can’t sign his signature anymore.
I just noticed this a few days ago when we had to get his immunization records and needed his signature.
At that time, my husband told me, “Hajime can’t hold a pen so you have to wrap it with a tape for him.”
I was shocked…….

I didn’t think that his disease progressed that much. I knew that his right hand had weakened, but.
I started to cry afterwards when I saw his name that he put so much effort into writing.

When I thought about how hard he tried to write, it broke my heart.

And again, today my husband told me that his legs have weakened much too.
I know that this disease progresses,
but it’s scary to actually see it happening.

What can we do now?
What can we help him do before he loses all mobility?

I thought that and I started to cry.


Translated by Christine Shirota